the remarkable iPod touch

Being the cheapskate that I am, although I've lusted after the iPhone since its launch, I've been reticent to invest in one. I know, I know, it's now gone down to $99 if I wanted to purchase the 1st generation 8 Gig version, but there's still the matter of the minimum $59 per month subscription fee (which I assume is more with taxes, etc.).

As an alternative, I recently purchased the iPod Touch 2G 16-Gig version. While the iPod does not enable you to make calls (actually, you can over Skype via a Wi-Fi connection) or take photos or video, it basically performs all of the other functions of the iPhone. And can I just say it is amazing?

In addition to the basic iPod functions of an MP3 player, you can download videos and more importantly, apps (that's applications to you unschooled in the vernacular of Generation X). Again, being the cheapskate that I am, I've only ventured into the free apps, but I could easily be convinced to part with my hard-earned $ .99 to purchase a truly worthwhile one - and I know it is out there. Thus far I have downloaded a number of games, utilities (check out Handy Level) and services (like Pandora or Urbanspoon or Google Earth). Thanks to apps, I can waive my iPod menacingly as it simulates the sound of a lightsaber, complete with the Star Wars soundtrack playing in the background. I can send out an SOS signal using my iPod screen (only as long as the battery permits - so let's hope a rescue would not be too far off). I can open my Zippo lighter, light the flame and sway in time to the closing number of a rock band in the darkness of the arena. While none of these apps may seem immensely practical, they are oddly appealing.

Interestingly, a lot of them simulate "reality." While I can never light a fire with my Zippo program, the flame will sway with my movements. And though I cannot cut through the blast door of a fortified spaceship with my lightsaber (as if this were "reality") I can at least sound convincing as I re-enact the moves of a Jedi in combat with a Sith Warrior.

And so I have joined the grateful and awe-struck ranks of the millions of Steve Jobs fans out there. Yes, technology is an amazing thing. Yes, Apple reigns supreme. Like others, I suspect Jobs has reverse-engineered alien technology he has somehow stumbled upon. Give me a little time and I'm confident I will surely put down my iPod Touch to look-up and re-engage with the real world. In the meantime, please don't disturb me while I throw my simulated wadded paper balls into the simulated trash can, awaiting the simulated sounds of that satisfying "clunk" when I make that shot . . .

big stomach and an 11-day diet

Sadly, I've recently hit my heaviest weight once more. In the past it was relatively easier to lose the pounds, but now I find it annoyingly difficult, if not next to impossible to get back to fighting weight. As I contemplate my large stomach and what could possibly reside therein to form that round, Buddha-like shape, I have concluded in my mind that I am harboring some kind of tumor. It cannot be from my eating habits (see post below) or lack of physical activity. No. This thing I carry with me (perched precariously above my belt), is the external manifestation of a basketball-sized tumor. I cannot explain my enlarged face (now "engagingly" moon-like) nor my puffed sausage-like fingers other than to reason it is due to some sort of bloating associated with my tumor.

I'm tempted to post a recent photo of myself, but don't want to frighten friends I have not seen for a while with a face and body vaguely recognizable as me. It's sort of like those movies where they put people into fat suits. Anyway, the net of this post is to publicly declare that I am going to attempt regulating my diet and exercise for a while to see if my tumor theory holds up. If I am to reduce the size of my stomach (and subsequently other appendages) as a result, then I am obviously wrong. My round stomach and bloating is fat after all. I've found an 11-day calorie shifting diet that claims an average 8-pound weight loss at the end of this period. Stay tuned for a follow-up report. Fat? Tumor? Fat? Tumor?

award ceremonies

In my family, whenever an award show is being broadcast, I always take the opportunity to cook up a storm. This way we can feast on goodies while we watch the celebrities, performances and presentations with rapt attention. Sunday, my favorite Awards show, the Tony Awards, was no different. (Several months ago, we had the opportunity to see 2008s Tony Award winners for Best Musical and Best Play.) I decided to keep the menu simple. An indispensable favorite is li'l smokies wrapped in Pillsbury crescent roll dough baked in the oven. Additional traditional favorites are bruschetta, summer sausage served with Carr's crackers, sliced tomatoes and muenster cheese and red seedless grapes. This time to minimize my kitchen time, I also made Corn Soup with Shrimp, Salmon Croquettes with Remoulade Sauce (essentially crab cakes with salmon instead of crab), Stuffed Artichokes a la Varenne (from the famous French cooking school of the same name), and chocolate mousse. (If I had the foresight of one of my friends, another blogger, I would have taken photos of the spread. Perhaps next time.) All this for two of us. It used to be for three of us, but since my daughter has moved to NYC, it is only two of us. And yes, we typically eat the leftovers for two or three days. Food. It is a glorious thing.